Attempt at Life
by Court Jester 21
Summary: What if this is what happened at the end of Here Comes the Judge? Alicia visits Will.
1. Chapter 1

_What if this happened at the end of Here Comes the Judge? I don't think the writers will allow such things, but I'm just dreaming. . . I can dream, right?_

_And yes, I know I'm dreaming. They aren't my characters, I'm just letting them have a little playtime to let off some steam._

Alicia was puzzled. What was happening here? As she'd admitted to Eli, she wasn't sure what was going on with her life. She felt it all slipping through her fingers even as she struggled to grasp for control.

Maybe the answer was to let go. What she was doing now clearly wasn't working. She'd given up everything but her work to be with her children, and yet they were still morphing into strangers before her eyes. Zach had matured overnight it seemed, a looming reminder that he would someday leave home for college. Grace, on the other hand, was diving deeper into teenage rebellion. She wasn't sure whether to take this as a sign of the end of her "revival" phase and be thankful for smoker boy or to worry about his influence over Grace. Boys could hold a lot of power over girls her age.

She wasn't sure which was the best course of action to take. Hold them too tightly, and she could lose their trust forever. Give them too much free rein and they could make mistakes that would effect them for the rest of their lives. Alicia sighed and cocked her head to the side, trying to make sense of her position. No answers came to her. She was exhausted from carrying the weight of everyone's problems. When was the last time she'd done something for herself?

Oh yeah. She remembered. Alicia time.

Before she could stop herself, she stood up from the couch. She looked to Zach and Grace and told them she needed to run an errand. She grabbed her phone and keys and was slamming the door to the apartment behind her less than 30 seconds later.

As she drove, she contemplated what she wanted, what she'd say, what he might say. She knocked on Will's door before she realized that she might have called first. In her exuberance to complete her task, she was careless with the details. She hoped he was alone.

The door swung open quickly as Will pulled it back on the hinges with more force than necessary. His surprise was evident as he said, "Alicia, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," she replied with a shake of her head. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," he replied, stepping back to allow her to enter. He shut the door and found her standing awkwardly in his living room. He mirrored her posture, not even suggesting that they sit down, and broke her silence with a quiet, "What's up?"

Alicia collected herself. She'd come here without thinking, without a plan, and still she knew she couldn't back out now. Something inside her was compelling her to say what she wanted to say. "I miss you," she said softly but with confidence.

Will's head snapped up. This was another surprised to him. He couldn't say anything.

Alicia continued, "When I asked that we end things before, I thought that what we had was getting in the way of my relationship with my kids. Tonight I realized that nothing is getting in the way, and still I don't know who they are. They're growing up, so I guess that's what's supposed to happen. But when I realized that I'd made a mistake, I wanted you to know that I miss you."

Will was staring at Alicia. Her face was telling him everything, even what her words were not. Quickly, he took two strides towards her, took her face in his hands and kissed her.

Alicia was shocked. She didn't realize what was happening until his lips were on hers. It took her a moment to catch up before she returned his kiss.

It was a strong, passionate kiss. Will's hands were buried deep in her hair, her arms wrapped tightly around him. His lips silently said everything to her that he wanted to say on the day it had ended. Her reply matched his vigor in apology for the time they'd lost together.

Will's hands roamed her body, slipping under the back of her jacket, reaching underneath her blouse in search of her skin. His caresses against her back caused her to moan into his mouth. She tightened her grip around him, unwilling to let him go.

Will's mind was racing to catch up with all that had happened in the past 5 minutes. He had her. He had her back. She was here in his hands. He was stunned, and at the same time, something was nagging him in the back of his brain. He knew what it was, and as he tried to ignore it, the nagging grew louder and louder inside his head. He knew that if he let this moment pass without attending to that incessent nagging, he could never forgive himself.

Will pulled back from Alicia's lips and rested his forehead against hers. Alicia was surprised and looked up to meet Will's eyes. They were closed. Will shook his head back and forth slightly against her skin as he said, "I'm sorry, I just want to say something."

He met her gaze and then shifted his eyes toward the floor as he contemplated how to begin. "I need to say something," he emphasized and stepped back from her, holding her shoulders at an arm's length. He pressed her backwards until she was leaning against the pillar near the piano. He let her go and stepped backward until he was leaned against the pillar across from her.

The distance between them was awkward. He met her curious eyes as he said, "I just need some space if I'm going to get this all out without tackling you again." His one sided smile showed his light hearted attitude, but the serious look in his eyes gave Alicia a pit in her stomach.

"Ok," she said with a nod and equal smile. She leaned back into the pole to listen to what he had to say.

Will studied his clasped hands in front of him, debating how to approach this. _What's wrong with you?_ he asked himself silently. _This is Alicia. Just say it. _

"I made a mistake," Will started, looking up to meet Alicia's eyes. "When things started between us, Alicia, I treated you like every other woman I've seen. And you're not like those other women. I don't want to have a purely physical relationship with you, Alicia, and I should have been man enough to say that before. What we had was bound to fizzle out eventually, like every other relationship I've ever had. I don't want to make that mistake again."

Alicia was stunned, her facial expression betraying those feeings. She struggled to make sense of all this as Will continued.

"Alicia," he paused before adding his next words, "I love you. I have been in love with you since Georgetown." He checked her expression. Her jaw had dropped open and she quickly closed it again. Her eyes blankly searched the space in front of her for answers before she met his gaze again. "Every woman I've been with since law school has been you. In my head, they've all been you. I spent 15 years trying to forget you before you came back into my life, and now . . . " Will spread his arms wide in demonstration of his loss of words. "I know that this is complicated for you and that's why I haven't said anything before. I don't want to make life harder for you Alicia, but I don't think I can go back to what we had before. I want something real."

Will had abandoned his pillar and was stepping toward her now. His pace was slow, but Alicia felt panic rising through her body as he approached. What was she going to do? "Will, I don't. . ." she said uncertainly, shaking her head.

Will stopped in his tracks. His eyes dropped to the floor. "Alicia, if you don't feel the same way, nothing has to change. You can leave here and I'll never speak of it again. Ok?" He lifted his eyes back to hers, only she was staring at her hands folded at her waistline.

Alicia shook her head as she looked back to Will again. Her eyes glistened with tears as she spoke. "No, Will, I just. . ." she trailed off. Will was surpised to hear her voice breaking from the tears she wasn't allowing to escape. Alicia struggled to regain her composure and continue. "I just don't know if I can. It's not that I don't want to try. I'm just. . . " she trailed off again, unable to say the words that were screaming themselves in her mind.

Will was stepping closer to her now, unsure how to comfort her as she continued. "Something really bad happened to me and I just don't know if I can put myself in the position for that to happen again." By now, she was crying. Tears slid down her cheeks and she moved quickly to wipe them away. She was so wrapped up in containing herself that she didn't notice Will's arms coming around her to hug her. She flinched at his contact and Will froze for a second before embracing her tightly. She stood awkwardly in his arms, stiff and untrusting.

Will's hand rubbed her back slowly and helped her to relax. As she continued crying, he whispered, "Shhhhh," into her hair to calm her. Soon she was returning his embrace and her breathing was calmer. Will leaned back slightly to see her face. He grasped her face between his hands once again and gently wiped tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke.

"I know you've been through hell, Alicia, and I know that this is going to be hard for us. We can take it one step at a time, we'll go as slow as we need to. But I want to be there for you every day."

Alicia nodded slightly, showing him her accecptance of his gifts to her. Will's face exploded into a huge smile and he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He turned her toward the couch and guided her to sit down. He sat beside her, holding her hands in his.

"There's one more thing," Will added. "I don't want us to fall back into our old habits. As much as I want you, I want this to work. I want to give us a fair shot to make this work." Will sighed as he finished quietly, "I don't think we should sleep together until we've made some strides in building a life together."

Alicia looked up at him in surprise once again. "What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

"I don't want this to be a secret forever. I don't want to be sneaking around hiding this forever. I think that we will stand the best chance of making this really work if we don't give in to those temptations until we've got some things in place."

Alicia's raised eyebrows told him that she didn't understand. "For instance, I want to meet your kids. I don't want us to have issues at work. I want a shot at a real life with you."

She shook her head again. "Will, I don't know what's going on with my children right now. I don't know when they'll be ready for news like this. Zach is probably fine, but Grace is in such a delicate position right now and with the campaign. . . "

Will interrupted her, "It doesn't have to be now. I can wait until the timing is right to tell them. If it's after the election, or whenever it's easier, I understand. Alicia, I've waited 20 years for you. I'm a fool if I can't wait a little longer." His affectionate smile almost convinced her that this could work.

"Ok, so what does this look like then?" she asked curiously.

"We'll take it as it comes. I don't know what it will look like. We'll just make it up."

Alicia rolled her eyes and smiled, remembering a similar converstation they'd had the night of Peter's press conference. "Who needs a plan?" she asked coyishly.

"We do. We have a plan," Will answered her. "We'll take things slow until we're ready to talk to your kids and make our relationship more public."

She nodded and they sat a moment in silence before Will asked, "Can I take you on a date?"

"It might have to be a bit untraditional for now," she answered uncertainly, knowing the press would be all over her until the election was over.

"It's ok, I'm creatve," Will answered her with a smile.

And somehow, she knew in that moment that it would just work out okay.


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm torn between being upset that we have to wait until January for new episodes and being happy that I have so many great ideas to write about now. Here's chap 2, enjoy!_

_And, no they're not mine. If they were mine, we'd all see them every Sunday, year round, no breaks. Until you see that, you'll know I have nothing do with it. Just playing around here!_

It was two weeks later when Will got to take her out for a date. It was the kids' weekend to be with Peter, and she told Will she was all his on Saturday night.

She smiled as she remembered the grin that had stretched across his face and then faded away again as he remembered his professional composure in their workplace. Alicia was slightly nervous as she was getting dressed. What was happening between them? Could she return Will's feelings for her?

They were in an awkward position. They were dating. There was no sex. What would they do on this date? she wondered silently.

Alicia was to meet Will at a shopping center. It would be busy and dark at night, to make it more difficult for her to be seen. She would take a cab there to make it harder for someone to follow her from her apartment.

In the cab, she had butterflies in her stomach. She swallowed hard and told herself to calm down. This was just Will. She'd spent countless hours with him before. It wasn't a big deal, she said to herself. But she knew that it was.

She asked the driver to stop around the corner from where she was meeting Will. She paid and walked away casually as if she were shopping. She saw Will's car parked at the curb, saw him sitting inside waiting for her. Alicia walked into the nearest store and glanced about the items on the shelves. Instead of actually looking at them, she was silently counting to 200 in her head. When no one entered the store behind her, she walked out again. She glanced from side to side as she exited the store, staying out of the pedestrian traffic, or looking for anyone that could be following her. Seeing that the coast seemed clear, she walked in the direction of Will's car. He nodded to her through the windshield and she approached his passenger door and climbed in.

He put the car in drive and exited his parking space, leaving the shopping center behind him before he looked to her with a genuine smile. "You made it!" he said lightly.

"I did!" she replied. "I had a fleeting thought as I walked into that store that my kids could be out here shopping somewhere. That would be awkward!" She looked to him with a smile, to tell him that she was returning his lightness.

Will calmly placed his hand on her knee as he drove. They sank into the silence for a moment before she asked, "So, where are we going?"

"Somewhere I haven't been for a long time," was all he would tell her.

She noticed he was driving out of the city. She had detected a familiar smell when she got into the car, but she just placed it as she asked about dinner.

Will nodded toward the backseat, and when Alicia turned around, she saw a bag of take out sitting on the floorboards.

"Fancy," she joked, throwing him a smile through the shadows.

He squeezed her knee in return as he said, "Nothing but the best for you!"

He switched on the radio at some point, but Alicia stared at the window, watching the outside world as they passed at highway speed. She was doing her best to internally sort out her feelings. She had committed to trying this. Trying to have a relationship with Will that was more than physical. She had her own issues to deal with before she could fully invest herself into this relationship.

Alicia snapped out of her trance as she noticed that they were in a pretty remote place. "Will, where are we going?" she asked again. They had been driving for quite awhile. Alicia glanced at the clock, but since she wasn't sure exactly when she'd gotten in the car, it didn't help her much.

"We'll be there soon," he answered with a smile. Alicia noticed a sign for a park as they turned in the driveway. They drove slowly through the park roads and came to a small clearing at the edge of a lake. The moon sparkled on the water as Will put the car in park. "Think anyone will find us out here?" he asked, still wearing his smile.

"Nope," she said, suppressing her own smile. Her tone reminded Will of that day after their night in the Presidential suite when he came to her office. "Just don't attract the attention of any park rangers, okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it," he answered, shutting off the car.

Will pulled out the take out from the backseat and began dividing out the covered dishes. He'd ordered her favorite. She was taken aback when she realized that he remembered what she liked. "How did you remember that?" she asked, her surprise apparent in her voice.

Will shrugged as he continued his work. "I remember everything," he said softly, a little embarrassed by his obsession with her.

Alicia's heart melted. Here was a man who loved her. Who would take her on this ridiculous secret date just to be able to be with her. What was Peter doing? He'd spent most of their marriage, including the past 4 years, barely noticing her. When they'd lived together, he'd been better, but he didn't do sweet things like this. If she wanted romance in her marriage, she'd had to be the one to suggest it.

Alicia laid her hand atop Will's as he was reaching back into the bag to retrieve the utensils. "Thank you, Will," she told him. He didn't miss the emotion in her voice, but he couldn't quite make out her face in the shadows cast in the moonlight.

He shrugged again as he answered, "You're very welcome."

When the meal was ready, Will didn't dig in. Instead, he reached to the backseat again and grabbed his tablet. He flipped it open, made a few swipes and handed it to Alicia. "Wanna pick a movie?" he asked.

"Dinner and a movie, sounds traditional to me," she joked as she flipped through on the screen.

"Ok, so I'm not that creative," Will admitted, joking along with her.

"I'd say this is pretty creative," Alicia replied, looking around at their surroundings and the meal sitting in her lap.

They decided on a movie and dug into their dishes. After they finished eating, Will returned the empty containers to the backseat and reached his arm around Alicia's shoulders. A little while later, Alicia leaned toward him, bridging the gap between their seats with her body to rest her head on his shoulder. They sat snuggled like this for the rest of the movie.

Alicia noted how odd it felt, and how normal at the same time. She and Peter would do this regularly before their lives went crazy. This was what normal people did. Ok, maybe on a couch instead of the front seat of the car, but it was relatively normal. Bu it wasn't normal for her anymore, and it wasn't normal to be with Will. Her heart pounded as she tried to pay attention to the end of the movie. Will's cheek rested against the top of her head, and she could faintly feel his warm breath on her scalp. His hand moved absently up and down her forearm, caressing her softly.

As the credits began, Will asked softly, "You ok?"

His deep voice resonated throughout her body, and she struggled to answer convincingly as she said, "Yeah," turning to look up into his face.

He laid a hand aside her cheek and guided her to sit and up and face him. "I know this is hard," he said, just as softly as before. "We'll make it work, okay?"

Alicia nodded, unable to speak through the tears welling up inside. "Come here," Will whispered as he drew her face to his lips, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, resting his face against hers as her tears fell.

The smell of him was intoxicating. Through the intense conflict she felt inside, she noticed it. It held a power over her, bringing back those months they'd spent together. Suddenly, she reached for his lips and began kissing him tenderly. After a slight hesitation, Will returned her kiss, wrapping his arms around her.

They were light, affectionate kisses, quick and fleeting and would mean nothing if they didn't keep coming back for more. Alicia felt herself drowning in his scent and did nothing to pull herself back out. She opened her mouth and pressed harder against him, urging him to deepen their kisses. Will returned her intensity, pulling her towards him, and she ended up sitting across his lap. When she started moaning against him, something in Will's mind snapped to attention.

Breaking old habits. Building a life together.

Reluctantly, he pulled himself back from her, breaking their kiss. Alicia looked at him in surprise, and then his expression told her everything. Breathlessly he said, "I. . . can't. I'm not. . . going to. . . be able to stop. . . if we. . . continue." Alicia nodded and returned to her seat awkwardly. Will smiled and let out a chuckle as she landed in the seat next to him.

They sat in silence a moment, regaining their breath and digesting what had happened. Alicia spoke first, "I'm sorry Will, I got caught up. . . "

He stopped her, saying, "You weren't alone. And I wouldn't have brought you out here if I didn't want to make out with you a little." He grinned at her in the darkness.

After a moment of consideration, Alicia asked, "Why do you do that? Why do you make excuses for me?"

"I do?" Will asked with surprise.

"Yes, you always have."

"Hmm," Will responded. "I never thought about it before." After a moment, he asked, "Always, huh? Give me an example."

Alicia thought for a moment and then launched into a story of a night they hung out together at Georgetown after Alicia had bombed a midterm. Will smiled as she spoke and came back at her by retelling some of his favorite Georgetown moments with her.

They were sharing laughs about what had changed since law school and what hadn't when Alicia innocently brought up Peter's name. He was simply a character in her story, but his name changed her tone and Will's posture.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring him up," Alicia said, her words piercing the silence that had fallen between them.

"No, it's ok," Will replied quickly, but not convincingly. He searched nervously for something to change the subject, but everything in his brain was about Peter. Before he could fully form his thoughts, the words slipped off his tongue. "So, tell me about Peter."

Alicia froze. Will froze. He hadn't meant to go down this road tonight. He knew that eventually the topic would have to be breached, but he'd been planning to give Alicia more time before pressing this particular button.

"I mean. . . " Will stumbled, uncharacteristically. "I don't know Peter the way that you do. Tell me what I don't know." Will silently cursed himself for not retracting his words immediately. He should have taken it back and moved on, not asked for details. Weakly, to appease his inner guilt, he added, "It's ok if you don't want to talk about him. I understand."

Alicia hesitated, unsure what to say. Her eyes darted between Will's face and the lake in front of her as she struggled to know what to say. "I don't really know why you want to talk about him," she said finally.

Will inhaled, ready to give her an honest answer, no matter how difficult. "I just want to understand. It doesn't have to be tonight, but someday I want to understand what he meant to you."

Alicia said nothing. The pause in conversation was so long that Will was flipping through topics in his brain, looking to change the subject. Finding nothing suitable, he was about to start the car and suggest he take her home. He was convinced that she wasn't ready to open up to him. He was reaching for the keys when she spoke.

"Peter was always, I don't know, flashy maybe. He was always the center of attention, and I guess he drew me into that too. His charisma gives him power to influence people, to charm them into giving him what he wants. I guess he had that effect over me too," she said sadly, her lips curling into a strained smile. "Whenever I was mad at him, he'd buy me something or tease me until I just let it go. He must have thought I'd forgive him for anything."

Silence fell between them for a moment. Will reached over and rested the palm of his hand against her knee. It was his silent "Thank you" for opening up to him.

This gave Alicia the courage to continue. "What he meant to me? I was under his spell for all of those years, I believed that he would never do the things that he did. I was so deeply in love with him that I never saw him for who he truly was. And then when I did see who he really was. . . I. . . " Alicia trailed off and Will let her have her space. It wasn't for another minute or so that he realized she was crying.

"Alicia?" he asked, puzzled at all of this. It had happened four years ago; was it really still this hard for her to face?

At the sound of her name on his lips, Alicia lost control. She reached for Will and he drew her into his arms. Will was the one to branch the gap between their seats this time. He held her close as she sobbed into his shoulder. Her sobs rocked him to his core and his eyes began to fill with tears as well. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd cried, and here he was, sharing tears with Alicia.

After a few minutes, when her sobs had slowed, Alicia pulled back from him and adjusted herself back in her seat. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she attempted to wipe her face dry. Her breathing was still ragged, but he could see that she was trying to get herself back under control. He took advantage of the moment to try and dry his damp eyes quickly before she saw him.

Alicia caught the movement of his hand to his face, and froze, staring at him for a second. She turned back to wiping her face and removing the sad streaks of mascara that marred her skin, but kept watching him out of the corner of her eye. Finally, she drew in a deep breath, sitting up straight in the seat and slapping her palms against her thighs.

"I'm sorry, Will," she said again, not looking at him but turning her head slightly in his direction.

Will didn't answer, but waited for her to offer an explanation.

"I, um, I never really accepted that my marrige was over. I never allowed myself to think that way, even when things started to happen between us." She glanced over to meet his eyes, and then turned her eyes back to the lake ahead of them. "I realized just now that I was always in love with the fake Peter. I don't love the man he really is. I could never love him after all of the things he's done." She turned to meet Will's eyes, a faint smile crossing her lips.

"I'm sorry Alicia," Will's voice rasped into the darkness within the car. "You don't deserve this," he said as she reached up and stroked her tearstained cheek.

"I just realized that," she said softly. "Thank you for helping me to clear that up." After a pause, she added, "Are you okay?"

Will realized what she meant. "Yeah," he said sheepishly, avoiding her gaze. When she continued looking at him for more of an answer, he knew he'd have to clarify. "You have a power over me, Alicia. Seeing you so upset. . . it affected me. But I'm okay if you're okay," he said with a smile.

"I'm okay," she said as she smiled back. Will rubbed his hand up and down on her thigh, and Alicia clasped her hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

They sat still for a few moments, not moving, saying nothing, before Alicia broke the silence. "I'm going to talk to Peter tomorrow. I'll tell him I want a divorce."


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry I didn't get this out sooner...thouht I' get a lot more done over the hiatus than I actually did. Hope you enjoy!_

_Once again, these guys aren't mine, just playing around with them._

Alicia left Peter's office calmly. She walked to the elevator and exhaled, hoping with her entire being that he didn't follow her out here. She stepped into the elevator, pressed the button, stepped out on the lower level and walked out to the street before she finally let her guard down and began to process what just happened.

It was Monday. She had decided not to speak to him on Sunday when he was with the kids. She'd set up a meeting with him for Monday morning instead, and he was less than thrilled with what she had to say. She could tell that he'd contained his anger and was thankful for the idea to do this at his office instead of one of their homes. He'd have to stay in control here.

He kept pressing her for answers, for more time, for counseling and finally she'd just walked out. She told him for the last time that they were finished, that she could never trust him again, and then she left.

Arriving back at work, she composed herself in the elevator and stepped out on the 28th floor. She caught Will's eye as she passed the conference room where he sat with Diane. She gave him a slight smile to signal that she'd done it, and continued to her office.

It wasn't 10 minutes before Will came walking by her office. He hadn't intended to stop in if Cary were seated at his desk. He was just going to get her attention and hope she understood that he was headed to his office and she should join him. But she didn't look up as he walked by. She was buried in her work, and with Cary there, he couldn't very well jump into the topic that was burning in his mind.

He stepped to the door, and said, "Hey Alicia, when you get a second, I think I might have a new case for you."

She looked up, surprised by the interruption. "Sure, Will, just a minute," she said with a nod. She was conscious of Cary's presence and hoped that they weren't being too obvious. Cary had been in the grand jury. He knew they had a past, but he also thought it had ended awhile ago.

She wrapped up her work and entered Will's office a few minutes later. He was obviously trying to look busy while waiting for her. Alicia let a slight smile escape her lips as she shut the door and sat herself in a chair in front of his desk.

Will couldn't contain his nervous smile as he asked, "How'd it go?"

"It was alright," she said with a shrug. "He's pretty mad but I expected that."

Will nodded before asking, "Are you alright? "

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied. "I'm just glad that's done. It's just the beginning of the end though. It will take a while before it can all be final."

"I know," Will answered quietly. "And I want to talk more later, but we'd better get down to business," he said with a smile as he handed her a case file.

They discussed their new case, before heading their separate ways and agreeing to meet up later to talk.

That evening, as the last of the Lockhart/Gardner staff were loading into the elevators to go home, Will stopped by Alicia's office again. "You ever going to call it a night?" he asked as he casually draped himself across the doorway.

Alicia laughed as she answered, "Soon. Just some last minute prep for court tomorrow."

"Nah, no one around here cares about court anyway," he teased. He took just one step inside the door and lowered his voice slightly, hoping no one would notice the change as they passed by. "Me, I'm headed to the movies."

"Really?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Will nodded his response. "Yeah, I just can't get enough of those old movies. You know there's a theater on State that plays them on the big screen. It's not like watching them at home. It's really great. It's a 7:30 show, so I'd better be going. Night, Alicia." He gave her a wink as he left her office.

"Night, Will," she said to his back, suppressing a smile. She was glad that they so easily understood each other.

She looked at her watch. She had enough time to keep working awhile longer. When she finally felt prepared for the next day in court, she packed up her things and left the office. As she pulled her car out of the parking garage and directed it towards her destination, she smiled to herself.

It wasn't very far and it didn't take her long to find a new parking spot nearby. As she parked her car, she glanced at the clock on the dashboard. 7:46. Alicia grabbed her purse and left to enter the building. She ignored the odd look she got when she stopped at the counter as she entered and made her request. Ticket in hand, she found the correct door and searched through the darkness.

"Pssst," she heard faintly to her left. She turned and saw Will sitting in the back row, far against the wall. As her eyes adjusted, she saw that there were only a few others in the theater and no one else was sitting near Will. He had chosen wisely.

She took the seat beside him and he laid a hand on her knee to welcome her. It was the only intimate gesture they could afford. She leaned toward him as she whispered softly, "You are a genius!"

"Thank you," he whispered back, deeply inhaling the scent of her hair. "So, how'd it really go today?"

Alicia knew this was what Will had been after. This was why he'd set up this little meeting between them. There would be no one to see them here together. No one would overhear them. No wire taps could be used to eavesdrop on them. This was almost as safe as they could get. She let out a sigh as she answered, "It was ok. I guess it could have been worse. I surprised him. He didn't seem to be expecting it. He was angry, but he held back. I'm glad that I did it at his office."

Will nodded in agreement. He wasn't sure how to ask this of her. He watched her face in the flickering light from the movie screen, debating how to phrase what he wanted to ask. "How much did you tell him?" he finally whispered back.

"I didn't tell him about you. I didn't want him to come after you again, and once he is more accepting of the divorce, then he can find out about our relationship. He needs some space to calm down before he gets hit with more than just the divorce."

Will nodded along, knowing that Alicia knew Peter best and trusting her judgement.

Alicia continued in a whisper as she pretended to watch the screen. "I told him that I would wait until after the election, but that I was definitely going to file for divorce and that nothing would change that."

"And he was ok with that?" Will asked in return.

Will didn't miss the slight smile on Alicia's lips before she answered him. "No, but I didn't give him a choice. I just walked out and he was smart enough not to follow me."

Will paused to absorb this. "Do you think he's just going to take it, or is he going to make things difficult?"

"I don't know," Alicia answered. "When we first separated, he showed up at my apartment looking for a fight. He said he wanted to talk, but . . ." Alicia drifted off, shaking her head in the darkness. "He might try something like that again. I don't know."

Will squeezed her knee and they silently watched the scenes of the movie play in front of them for a few brief moments. Will wanted to take her in his arms and protect her. He wanted to yell at Peter, to threaten him, to punch him, to sue him for all he was worth. He wished he could follow Alicia home to be sure that Peter wouldn't be waiting for her when she arrived. He wanted to declare to the world that this was the woman that he loved, but he couldn't do that. In Alicia's complicated life, they had to dance together very carefully to avoid the land mines buried in the ground. One misstep could ruin their relationship forever, and Will knew that. His hand snaked around behind her and he ran his hand up and down her back. That was all he could offer her, as pathetic as that was.

"You'll tell me if Peter tries anything, won't you?" Will asked.

Alicia turned to look at him, then answered, "Yes. You won't act on it though, right?"

Will turned to meet Alicia's eyes. "Not unless you want me to. We'll just see what happens and decide together how to proceed, ok?"

Alicia nodded. "I need to go," she whispered, turning back to the screen. "I need to get home to my kids."

"Ok," he said, squeezing her knee once again. "Let me know when you're available for our next date," he whispered with a smile that he wasn't sure she could see.


	4. Chapter 4

_Here's the next installment and planning to continue with further chapters. Let me know what you think!_

_And once again, these guys aren't mine. I just play with them and pretend that they're my friends._

On the way into work the next morning, Alicia reflected on the events of the day before. Her talk with Peter. Her clandestine meeting with Will.

She'd gotten home that night to children in their rooms doing homework and, to her relief, no Peter. As she was getting ready for bed, her phone vibrated with a text from Will.

Everything ok?

She smiled now, riding up to her office in the elevator and thinking what a sweet gesture it had been. She knew that Will genuinely cared for her. She just had to decide how far to let him in.

Stepping off the elevator, Alicia navigated the crowded hallway toward her office. As she passed, she saw that Will's office was empty. She wondered briefly where he was before she rounded the corner and saw Peter standing in her office, talking to Cary. Anger flared within her as she approached the doorway, until she realized that yesterday she had been the one surprising him at work.

She quieted the emotions rising inside her as she entered and both men looked up. "Good morning Cary," she said, tension evident in her voice before she turned to Peter. "Was there something you needed, Peter?"

"Yeah, it'll just take a minute," he replied, his face showing signs of his sleepless night. Alicia could read him well. He seemed more defeated than angry today, but she still wasn't sure what he was doing here.

"I need to go check in with Kalinda," Cary said as he stood and exited the office. He walked through the halls, searching for Kalinda. After a few minutes of searching, he found her in a conference room, discussing their case with Will and Diane. He stepped inside to hear her latest update. The tension between Alicia and Peter had seemed odd to him. He thought they had worked things out now. Wouldn't Peter have seen Alicia at home that morning? Why was he waiting for her when she came to work?

He knew that this wasn't his business. He knew that their marriage had issues. He shook the thoughts from his brain and concentrated on Kalinda's report.

Alicia closed the door behind Cary, stalling for time and hoping that this wouldn't explode in her workplace. She turned back to face Peter, not offering him a seat and not sitting herself. She opened her hands and spread them in front of her, gesturing that the floor was his to speak.

Peter cleared his throat. His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke. "Alicia, I know that I've hurt you. I know that this has been a nightmare for you, but I thought. . . "

Alicia cut him off. "No Peter, we are not discussing this. There is nothing to discuss. I've made my decision and I'm confident about it. I'm not going to change my mind."

Peter looked down to his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. When he looked back up to Alicia, he asked, "So what are we telling the kids? We didn't discuss that yesterday, and I would like to be in the loop on this."

"Of course. Honestly, I don't think that right now is the best time to tell them. I'm not sure what is going on with Grace right now. She's in a weird place and I don't want to rock her world any more at the moment. Would you be okay if we waited to tell them?" Alicia looked up to meet his eyes. She wanted to be cordial, but not to lead him on or send him the wrong message.

"Yes, that's fine. We need to tell them before the press catch wind of it though," Peter glared at her as if he was implying something that she didn't understand.

"Yes, definitely. The press won't find out until we file after the election. We'll find a good time to tell them before then."

"You're sure?" Peter asked, his voice challenging her. "You're sure it won't get leaked?"

Alicia was caught off guard by his question. "Yes, I'm certainly not going to leak it. After everything that has happened, Peter, I hope that you know that I can be discreet. You know I have no affinity for the press."

Peter nodded and averted his eyes from her. He was torn between taking the conversation where he wanted it to go, and conceding to her. He paused as he decided. His mind raced through his options, the words he wanted to say to her and their consequences. After a moment, he looked up to her with his eyes brimming with tears. "What happened, Alicia? I thought things were getting better?"

Alicia drew in a sharp breath. Her eyes dodged from his to the window and back to his again. She glanced down to her hands and then looked up as she spoke. "I just realized how I really felt. It took me awhile to get my feelings sorted out. I realized that no matter what happens, I can't trust you again. We both know that there's no marriage without trust, and that's why I made my decision."

Peter's face reddened as he listened to her words and his hands clenched into fists. "And Will? How did he factor in?"

Alicia froze. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came to her.

Kalinda's report wrapped up in the conference room and Will and Diane rose to leave. Will was exiting the room behind Diane as he caught Cary and Kalinda's conversation.

"Have you seen Alicia?" Kalinda asked Cary.

"She's talking to Peter in our office," Cary replied quietly.

Will stepped back into the room, but Diane continued to her office. "Did you say Alicia is talking to Peter?" Will asked Cary, stepping toward him.

"Yes," Cary answered, uncomfortable with the position he found himself in.

"Peter is here?" Will asked, trying to wrap his mind around this revelation. He placed his hand on the table, steadying himself as he awaited Cary's answer.

"Yes," Cary repeated.

Will turned and walked quickly out of the room. Kalinda turned to Cary, saying, "This should be interesting," before following Will out of the conference room.

Will marched down the hallway, momentarily forgetting to cover up his feelings. He was afraid for Alicia. He couldn't let Peter hurt her. He came around the corner and stopped as he met Peter's gaze.

Alicia was still stammering, searching for the right words to assuage Peter. Peter couldn't mistake the expression on Will's face. Love. Courage. Pride. He turned to Alicia, and spat as he said, "I _knew_it. I knew there was something going on. You've been lying to me all this time." His voice was low and deep, but Alicia knew his tone well.

"No, Peter. . . " she tried to say, pained that this was all coming out to him unexpectedly.

Peter cut her off, saying, "Don't even try to explain it. I know what's been going on here." He was stepping closer to her, pointing his index finger at her. "I was right all along. I should have known!"

Will flung open the door and in two strides he was standing between Peter and Alicia. "That's enough, Peter. I think you need to leave now." Will's voice was commanding, not loud, not yelling, not yet attracting the attention of the others in the hallway.

Kalinda and Cary had gathered at the table outside Alicia's office and were watching the drama unfold as they pretended to work. No one else seemed to notice.

Peter tried to push Will aside to finish what he had to say to Alicia. "I think you've done enough here, Will," he spoke the words with venom, hoping they would bite him as they entered his ears. Peter had grabbed Will by the shoulder and shoved him aside in an effort to get to Alicia. Will stepped back between them, placing his palm on Peter's chest.

"Don't make me have you escorted out of here, Peter. How would that look to your supporters?" Will's lips curled into the slightest of smiles, and Peter longed to slap the smile from his face.

Peter said nothing more. He glared at Will, sizing up the smaller man. He shot Alicia the coldest look he could manage and walked out of her office. Once he disappeared down the hallway, Will stepped out of the doorway to make sure he continued. Kalinda came up behind him, quietly saying, "I got this," and followed Peter to the elevator.

Will stepped back inside, placing his hand on Alicia's forearm. "Are you ok?" he asked quietly. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her, but he held back. Kalinda had reminded him where he was and that people were watching them.

Alicia nodded, and when she found her voice, she answered, "Yes. Thank you, Will, but you didn't have to do that."

"Yes. I did. I should have done more," he stated in a desperate tone. His eyes betrayed his mood to her. "I just want to protect you from any more pain, Alicia."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she softly spoke her thanks.

"Alicia, what did he say?"

She took a deep breath and dived in to the short version of what had happened over the last few minutes. "He wanted to talk about the kids and when we would tell them the news. He asked me what had happened, and he was suspicious of you before you even came in."

Will nodded. "Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked quietly.

Alicia just shook her head. "I should get back to work," she said.

"Ok," Will agreed. "We'll talk later?"

Alicia nodded. It took everything Will had to leave her just standing there in her office.


End file.
